Author Archives: The Narrator

Reckless Predictions for 2026

Posted on 2025-12-31 by The Narrator

Every year serious people make serious predictions about the coming year. Every year, by February, those predictions are quietly retired, rebranded as “signals” or blamed on “unexpected headwinds”. This is not one of those serious efforts. In the spirit of … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Holidays, Humor | Tagged 2026, ABC, AI, artificial intelligence, bureaucracy, ChatGPT, culture, fortune telling, future, Gemini, Grok, media, medicine, Meta, news, Nightline, predictions, reckoning, science, technology, work | Leave a comment

Santa, Inc.: A Hard Look at the North Pole’s Most Successful (and Most Questionable) Business Model

Posted on 2025-12-24 by The Narrator

For centuries, we’ve been told Santa Claus runs a “magical” operation powered by goodwill, cheer and an alarming number of cookies. That explanation collapses the moment you apply even the lightest pressure from a calculator. Let’s face it, if you … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Holidays, Money | Tagged Alphabet, Amazon, Apple, cheer, Christmas, data privacy, elves, Facebook, gifts, Goldman Sachs, goodwill, Google, holidays, Jeff Bezos, magic, Meta Platforms, Netflix, North Pole, OmniClaus, Palantir, Salesforce, Santa, surveillance capitalism, Tim Cook, Tristan Harris, Walmart | Leave a comment

Credit Card Companies Don’t Reward Responsibility — They Punish It

Posted on 2025-12-21 by The Narrator

A few days ago I received a letter from Chase Card Services. It was polite. It was professionally formatted. It was also a quiet threat dressed up as “customer care”. In the eyes of Chase Card Services, I am a … Continue reading →

Posted in Money | Tagged Chase, credit cards, Credit Journey, credit score, debt, debt free, finances, personal finance, predatory lending | Leave a comment

Wright Brothers Day: From Sunday Best to Elastic Waistbands

Posted on 2025-12-17 by The Narrator

Every December 17 we pause to honor the Wright Brothers, two bicycle mechanics from Ohio who looked at gravity and said, “We can probably negotiate with that.” On that blustery day in 1903 at Kitty Hawk, Orville and Wilbur Wright … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Economy, Technology | Tagged airlines, aviation, capitalism, efficiency, flying, investment, Orville Wright, pajama culture, pajamas, Richard Branson, travel, Warren Buffett, Wilbur Wright, Wright Brothers Day | Leave a comment

National Lost & Found Day: The Other Search and Rescue Mission

Posted on 2025-12-12 by The Narrator

Every December 12, while search and rescue teams across the country gear up for winter missions in the backcountry, a different kind of operation quietly unfolds in households everywhere. No avalanche beacons. No helicopters. No GPS tracks. Just you, a … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Holidays, Search and Rescue | Tagged chaos, grid search, hasty search, keys, Last Known Position, lost and found, mission, National Lost and Found Day, Point Last Seen, remote, Rest of World, safe place, search and rescue, socks | Leave a comment

Take the Extra Minute: Hypothermia Is Winter’s Silent Threat

Posted on 2025-12-09 by The Narrator

Winter has a talent for trickery. One moment, you’re enjoying crisp air, sparkling snow and a trail that looks like it was ripped straight from a greeting card. The next, the sun has dipped behind a ridge, the wind picks … Continue reading →

Posted in Search and Rescue | Tagged hyperthermia, hypothermia, outdoor safety, recreation, search and rescue, TakeTheExtraMinute, winter, winter safety | Leave a comment

Silent Steel Stalks Sudsy Serenity

Posted on 2025-12-05 by The Narrator

Once a year the universe aligns in a way that makes absolutely no sense, placing the pinnacle of martial discipline and the height of soapy self-indulgence side-by-side. December 5 is both International Ninja Day and Bathtub Party Day, a pairing … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Holidays | Tagged bath bomb, Bathtub Party Day, International Ninja Day, loofah, ninja, rubber ducky, self care, stealth | Leave a comment

Why I Serve: Reflections on a Life in Search and Rescue

Posted on 2025-12-02 by The Narrator

It’s almost inevitable. When people discover I’m a member of a search and rescue team, the conversation quickly pivots to the simple, yet profound, question: “Why?” And yet, that simple question is the hardest one to answer. I know the … Continue reading →

Posted in Search and Rescue | Tagged altruism, duty, search and rescue, volunteer, why | Leave a comment

The Waddle and the Wattle: A Turkey’s Eye View of America

Posted on 2025-11-27 by The Narrator

Thanksgiving: the annual ritual in which Americans express gratitude by overeating and pretending not to notice the kids drinking hard cider in the garage. The one day a year we collectively celebrate as a nation. What exactly are we celebrating? … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Holidays, Humor | Tagged alternate history, America, American History, Benjamin Franklin, Founding Flock, gobble cycle, parallel Earth, politics, Thanksgiving, turkey, Turkey Bomb, wattle | Leave a comment

We Are (Probably) Not Alone — But 3I/ATLAS Isn’t Our Ride

Posted on 2025-11-23 by The Narrator

If you’ve been following the science news lately, you’ve probably seen the headlines about interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS, the third known object from outside our solar system to swing through our celestial neighborhood. And because humans love a good mystery (and … Continue reading →

Posted in Science | Tagged 2I/Borisov, 3I/ATLAS, AIV, alien life, aliens, ant jar, astronomy, astrophysics, comets, conspiracy, extraterrestrial life, extraterrestrials, interstellar objects, Oumuamua, space, UAO, UFO, VISTA | Leave a comment