Category Archives: Holidays

Hug Your Cat Before It Plots Against You Day

Last November, amidst the noble surrender of Chaos Never Dies Day, I stumbled upon a dark whispered necessity, a holiday so vital to the survival of the human race, that I promised to research it further, the “Hug Your Cat … Continue reading

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Friday the 13th: The Double Feature

Last month, we survived the first Friday the 13th of the year. We checked our blind spots, avoided ladders and perhaps felt a smug sense of relief when the clock struck midnight as the calendar rolled over to the 14th. … Continue reading

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International Women’s Day: Beyond the Bouquet

If you look at International Women’s Day on social media, you might think it’s a holiday for bouquets, compliments and being told how nurturing you are. The world pauses, at least briefly, to recognize half of humanity, often with flowers … Continue reading

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Fifty States of I Do

On this Valentine’s Day I wish to invite you to my dubiously legal quest for interstate matrimony. Remember that giddy, slightly unhinged feeling when you first get married, where every grand gesture seems perfectly reasonable? For my wife and me … Continue reading

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Superstition, Statistics and Our Unshakable Love of Spooky Math

It’s not quite Halloween. There are no ghosts, no monsters, no spooky hauntings, no plastic skeletons on the lawn, no “fun-size” candy bars clogging the pantry and no neighbors dressed as inflatable dinosaurs, at least not in the costume aisle … Continue reading

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I’ve Seen This Boom Before: A Guide to Corporate Gold Rushes

Howdy, partner! Listen close, ‘cause it’s Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day. It’s a durn fine chance to look at these fancy-pants modern gold rushes through the dusty eyes of old-timers, back when a rusty pick, a sturdy shovel and … Continue reading

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Reckless Predictions for 2026

Every year serious people make serious predictions about the coming year. Every year, by February, those predictions are quietly retired, rebranded as “signals” or blamed on “unexpected headwinds”. This is not one of those serious efforts. In the spirit of … Continue reading

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Santa, Inc.: A Hard Look at the North Pole’s Most Successful (and Most Questionable) Business Model

For centuries, we’ve been told Santa Claus runs a “magical” operation powered by goodwill, cheer and an alarming number of cookies. That explanation collapses the moment you apply even the lightest pressure from a calculator. Let’s face it, if you … Continue reading

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National Lost & Found Day: The Other Search and Rescue Mission

Every December 12, while search and rescue teams across the country gear up for winter missions in the backcountry, a different kind of operation quietly unfolds in households everywhere. No avalanche beacons. No helicopters. No GPS tracks. Just you, a … Continue reading

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Silent Steel Stalks Sudsy Serenity

Once a year the universe aligns in a way that makes absolutely no sense, placing the pinnacle of martial discipline and the height of soapy self-indulgence side-by-side. December 5 is both International Ninja Day and Bathtub Party Day, a pairing … Continue reading

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