Category Archives: Holidays

Fifty States of I Do

On this Valentine’s Day I wish to invite you to my dubiously legal quest for interstate matrimony. Remember that giddy, slightly unhinged feeling when you first get married, where every grand gesture seems perfectly reasonable? For my wife and me … Continue reading

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Superstition, Statistics and Our Unshakable Love of Spooky Math

It’s not quite Halloween. There are no ghosts, no monsters, no spooky hauntings, no plastic skeletons on the lawn, no “fun-size” candy bars clogging the pantry and no neighbors dressed as inflatable dinosaurs, at least not in the costume aisle … Continue reading

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I’ve Seen This Boom Before: A Guide to Corporate Gold Rushes

Howdy, partner! Listen close, ‘cause it’s Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day. It’s a durn fine chance to look at these fancy-pants modern gold rushes through the dusty eyes of old-timers, back when a rusty pick, a sturdy shovel and … Continue reading

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Reckless Predictions for 2026

Every year serious people make serious predictions about the coming year. Every year, by February, those predictions are quietly retired, rebranded as “signals” or blamed on “unexpected headwinds”. This is not one of those serious efforts. In the spirit of … Continue reading

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Santa, Inc.: A Hard Look at the North Pole’s Most Successful (and Most Questionable) Business Model

For centuries, we’ve been told Santa Claus runs a “magical” operation powered by goodwill, cheer and an alarming number of cookies. That explanation collapses the moment you apply even the lightest pressure from a calculator. Let’s face it, if you … Continue reading

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National Lost & Found Day: The Other Search and Rescue Mission

Every December 12, while search and rescue teams across the country gear up for winter missions in the backcountry, a different kind of operation quietly unfolds in households everywhere. No avalanche beacons. No helicopters. No GPS tracks. Just you, a … Continue reading

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Silent Steel Stalks Sudsy Serenity

Once a year the universe aligns in a way that makes absolutely no sense, placing the pinnacle of martial discipline and the height of soapy self-indulgence side-by-side. December 5 is both International Ninja Day and Bathtub Party Day, a pairing … Continue reading

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The Waddle and the Wattle: A Turkey’s Eye View of America

Thanksgiving: the annual ritual in which Americans express gratitude by overeating and pretending not to notice the kids drinking hard cider in the garage. The one day a year we collectively celebrate as a nation. What exactly are we celebrating? … Continue reading

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Chaos Never Dies Day: Just Stop Fighting It — Even Your Laundry Has Given Up

Today, November 9th, is a day of great philosophical importance. It is Chaos Never Dies Day, a perfect celebration for anyone whose life currently resembles a poorly organized junk drawer. There are a lot of weird holidays out there — … Continue reading

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Paying to Be Terrified: The Curious Case of “Safe Fear”

There’s something deeply odd about human beings: we actively seek out fear. No other species on the planet does this. You’ll never see a deer buying tickets to a prance though a predator habitat or a raccoon strapping itself into … Continue reading

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